Can Confidence be Created?

by | Feb 22, 2020 |

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

How to begin your journey to confidence so you can cultivate⏤ease, energy, and power.
“You don’t work on confidence, you reclaim it. Confidence is the positive consequence of returning to a deep inner connection.”
Does this sound familiar:

  • I don’t speak up. Just in case I get it wrong, or am misunderstood.
  • I second guess myself all the time even though I am 90% right with my hunches.
  • I don’t trust my own opinion and need to ask others for their input.
  • I nit-pick the smallest things, even though they are no big deal in the grand scheme of things. I criticize myself relentlessly.
  • It makes me nervous to share my findings with other professionals or mentors….”What if they think it’s dumb? What if they think less of me?”
  • I avoid conflict.
  • I avoid taking risks.
  • I get jealous of others success.
  • I have tension in my neck, shoulders, face and jaw.

If any of this sounds familiar, don’t fret. 
It doesn’t have to be this way.
You can create confidence.
How much energy would you have if the voices in your head would calm down?
How much more could you accomplish if you trusted yourself?
How much more peace, happiness and presence would you have if the burden of constant second guessing dissipated from your life?
I was in a consultation today with a potential new client, and what stood out to me was the individual’s excitement and hope that confidence can be taught.
She did not know that before we spoke.
I felt inspired to write this piece because I want others to know that they too can create and grow confidence.
Let’s unpack the concept of confidence to make it tangible, rather than this elusive thing some people have because fairy’s blessed them in the womb and god shone down on them when they were born.
(btw, that doesn’t happen)

  1. the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
  2. the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
  3. a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

After beginning this article about reclaiming confidence, the question in my mind was why do we lose our natural, inherent worthiness in the first place? 
Natural worthiness which is lost over time translates into feeling less confident in general, and feeling the need to measure up or earn validation in order to feel good enough. Confidence becomes transactional rather than unconditional at some point in our development.
When did confidence become contingent on other people’s opinions? And why did we lose it?
You are right!
As a trained psychotherapist this might sound like a cliche, but it is true, we become conditioned from a young age to perform rather than be ourselves then society supports this and we accept it as “reality”. The natural, human joy of sharing who we are and what we have created stops being fun when we feel we are being judged and that there is “good” and “bad.” Before grades in school and competitions we simply created to create, played to play, and perhaps ran up to other kids and introduced ourselves openly just to connect.
Have you ever observed how children happily play show and tell? They feel free and are excited to share themselves with the world. They are proud of their existence and therefore also proud of their creations. It is just natural. Where did that kid go?
He or She or They are there, buried beneath the armour we build up after being hurt or rejected in life. We are not taught how to navigate these big emotions when they arise, so the emotions calcify in our psyche as walls to protect us from future hurt. 
The problem is, these walls also keep our natural self from receiving from others and really being seen. 
So we always feel like we have to be on, get it right, make people like us, or measure up in order to feel confident. 
There is another way.
Who would you be if you were unconditionally confident?

  • No condition would waver your inner confidence.
  • You would never question your worth.
  • You would simply show up, do the work, be able to focus, and course correct as needed.
  • You would leave work at work and enjoy all the other moments in a day without hyper over-thinking strangling the joy out of your life.

Competition and Confidence
Comparing and competition can at times boost confidence and be a healthy way to expand and excel. More-often the comparison from competition and trying to win can eat away at us when we don’t have a deep, unshakable inner connection to who we really are. We can become controlling perfectionists unable to play or relax in life.
How can you begin to create confidence in your life?

  1. Be you no matter the consequences. You are a centred mix of youthful joy, wonder, curiosity, and energy with wise, mature, skilled, professional discernment.
  2. Question your reactive thoughts and judgements. Try putting all your thoughts on paper and really look at them. Are they real? Do you even care? How old/what age do they feel? What do those thoughts or emotions need in order to feel complete again? Then choose your thoughts and actions from who you really are, not what you are reacting to.
  3. Show up for yourself. Don’t betray yourself. If you want to run in the morning GO. If you want to take piano lessons take them. If you don’t want to go to a party, don’t. If you don’t want to drive your friend to the airport, don’t. Doing things that over extend you or are not in your highest values robs you of power, and therefore robs you of the energy you need to feel confident.
  4. Don’t let the fearful voices in your head scare you out of your life.

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh

  1. Confidence can be re-created and re-claimed when we take back our own dominion over our thoughts, emotions, thoughts, actions, and behaviours. For example:
  • “How would a confident person write this email?”
  • “How would a confident person go on a date?”
  • “What would a confident person eat?”
  • You get it.

You can’t wait to become confident before doing something.
Confidence arises the more you show up for yourself.
Confidence is something you can conjure up and grow no matter what your circumstances are.

Jenna Smith

Jenna Smith is a “Human Being Expert.” She has trained in Spiritual Psychotherapy at the Transformational Arts College and Integrated Psychotherapy at Lifespace. She is a certified Ontological Coach, Reiki Master, as well as a health and fitness trainer. She has also studied Oneness, Shamanism, and Intuitive healing work with mentors from Peru, India, Africa, Ireland, and North America.

An in-demand international speaker, professional singer, retreat leader, workshop facilitator, author, and coach, Jenna is your one-stop-shop for results that last a lifetime.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Disclaimer: The information contained in this website is for educational, general information, and entertainment purposes only and is never intended to constitute medical or legal advice or to replace the personalized care of a primary care practitioner or legal expert.

While we endeavor to keep this information up to date and correct, the information provided by America Out Loud, its website(s), and any properties (including its radio shows and podcasts) makes no representations, or warranties of any kind, expressed, or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability, or availability with respect to its website(s) or the information, products, services or related graphics and images contained on the website(s) for any purpose.

The opinions expressed on the website(s), and the opinions expressed on the radio shows and podcasts, are the opinions of the show hosts and do not necessarily represent the opinions, beliefs, or policies of anyone or any entity we may endorse. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk.

At no time, nor in any event, will we be liable for any loss, or damage, including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss of data or profits arising out of, in an association of, or connection with the use of this website.

Through this website, users can link to other websites that may be listed. Those websites are not under the control of America Out Loud or its brands. We have no control over the nature, content, or availability of those sites. America Out Loud has no control over what the sites do with the information they collect. The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation, nor does it endorse the views expressed with or by them.

Every effort is made to keep the website up and running smoothly. However, America Out Loud takes no responsibility for, nor are we, and will not be liable for being temporarily unavailable due to technical difficulties beyond our control. America Out Loud does not sell, trade, nor market email addresses or other personal data.

Use the code ‘OUTLOUD’ and receive your 20% discount on your first order.

Flip-flop Joe Must Stay the Course on Off-shore Drilling

Flip-flop Joe Must Stay the Course on Off-shore Drilling

Just before holding the lease auction, the Biden administration said the lawsuit did force them to make the oil leases in the Gulf. Now, flip-flop Joe’s administration says they did not have to go ahead with the lease auctions. In response, the environmental group Earthjustice launched a lawsuit on December 3rd to halt the leases before they come into effect in…

Edicts Gone Wild – Statehouses, City Halls, Kingdoms or Oligarchies?

Edicts Gone Wild – Statehouses, City Halls, Kingdoms or Oligarchies?

When the CDC’s data shows that children under 5 are less than 3% of the cases and have a statistically zero percent death rate, I wonder what experts Secretary Becerra has been consulting. And since these mandates reduce parental involvement, along with social, educational, and health quality, I think the Secretary has missed the boat on this one…

Americans are Experiencing the Toxic Taste of Socialism in 2022

Americans are Experiencing the Toxic Taste of Socialism in 2022

Top leaders entrusted to protect our safety and liberties have turned blind eyes to the lawlessness that advances their political agenda narratives, condoned neo-Marxist indoctrination of children, and weaponized police state intimidation of those who resist. President Ronald Reagan issued an urgent reminder that “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.”

Studies Show Horrific Contaminations of PCR Test Swabs

Studies Show Horrific Contaminations of PCR Test Swabs

This swab appears to have a fiberglass coating. This, of course, could rip, cut, and tear flesh, causing bleeding. Broken pieces could become lodged in the nose causing infection. This additional study concludes that material and chemical abnormalities in the material at the tip of the swab are likely responsible for damage to the nasal passage, resulting in bleeding and other injuries…

The Electric Vehicle Scam

The Electric Vehicle Scam

In order to match the 2,000 cars that a typical filling station can service in a busy 12 hours, an EV charging station would require 600, 50-watt chargers at an estimated cost of $24 million and a supply of 30 megawatts of power from the grid. That is enough to power 20,000 homes. It can take 30 minutes to 8 hours to recharge a vehicle between empty or just topping off. What are the drivers doing during that time?

COVID Q & A with Dr. Peter McCullough #13

COVID Q & A with Dr. Peter McCullough #13

Is the new Paxlovoid pill just a “reworked” ivermectin? What do you think of the data? Love the show. My question is, is it safe to take the provolone iodine with hypothyroid? There is a history of heart disease in my husband’s family so the thought of my boys getting any vac scares me, especially since I have 3 teenage sons. Will there be a ‘safe’ alternative? Will Novovax or Covax be safer?

Your Source for Free Speech, Talk Radio, Podcasts, and News.


Here we take on the challenges of our generation so that we can preserve future generations. Please consider making a contribution in the fight for liberty!


It is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority. - Benjamin Franklin


The APPS are free; the mission is priceless!

Free APP
Healthycell Telomere

Podcast Networks

Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts

Subscribe and Listen on Your Favorite APP

Our Columnists and Show Hosts

Truth For Health

Apple Podcasts

COVID Solution Summit

Apple Podcasts

Evacuating Americans & fully-vetted Afghan's at Risk - Help Us!

Apple Podcasts

Empowering and mentoring conservative trailblazers from Generation Z to win!

Apple Podcasts

Turning Point Action is Recruiting Precinct Chairs - Become a Grassroots Warrior Today!

Apple Podcasts

Please join us to protect the Supreme Court:
Sign the Petition!

Apple Podcasts

The LATINO USA EXIT from the Democrat Party, click for details...

Apple Podcasts

Fighting corporate censorship and ensuring voter integrity...

Apple Podcasts

Support wounded and fallen police officers. The Wounded Blue.

Wounded Blue
Share via
Copy link