September 28, 2021

September 28, 2021

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In My Mind, I Died A Thousand Deaths

by | Jul 5, 2021 |

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In my mind, I didn’t fail.

In my mind, the cars hit head-on. The rope was just the right length.

Nobody interrupted me. I didn’t slam on the brakes at the last moment.

When I look back at wanting to end my life, all those years ago, I can hardly believe that was me.

Emotionally battered. Spiritually lost. Physically exhausted. Deeply afraid.

In fact, I was learning to live. I was in the midst of a set of challenges that would give me the insight and tools to help countless others.

Failing to check out was one of my greatest wins.

The accident broke my back. The abuse broke my spirit. But they didn’t break ME beyond repair.

My inevitable breakdown created space for possibility. It was my breakTHROUGH.

I don’t regret a thing – not even a moment.

Though those times feel like a thousand years ago, I’m reminded of the importance of learning to flip our negatives. To learn from the tough times and use the wisdom we gain to propel us into a more positive future.

This past year or so has been challenging for millions of people across the globe.

Here in the UK, we’re still in some form of lockdown. Our leaders keep talking about a ‘roadmap to freedom’, but the goalposts keep changing.

Even now, as our Prime Minister dangles a carrot of an “irreversible” return to life without masks and protective ‘measures’ from July 19, his statements have begun to include little loopholes.

“We’re very likely to be in a position, on July 19, to say that really is the terminus, and we can go back to life as it was before Covid, as far as possible.”

Very likely?

As far as possible?

Is anyone else reading between the lines and not entirely trusting the message?

Time will tell.

What I do know is that, whatever happens, we cannot give up hope. People have lost loved ones through this. People have lost their livelihoods. People have lost relationships. What we must NOT lose is our hope.

We need to take the lessons we’ve learned from Covid, from lockdown, from the lies that have been spun, from the lives that have been needlessly wrecked. We need to take those teachings and use them to empower our future; awakened, with new wisdom and the desire to create positive change.

Only a few decades ago, I thought I did not want to be alive. I thought all hope was lost. I was wrong!

I came back from abuse, from death threats, from a broken back and a broken spirit.

Now we’re beginning to see promises of a gradual return to the freedoms that have always been our birthright, I know we’ll come back from this too.

I know the people have been pushed far enough now. I know there are thousands upon thousands of people who are ready to open up and start living freely again, and I’m sure they’ll be pushing ahead regardless of Boris’ next move.

My past doesn’t define me, but it sure as hell drives my mission to inspire as many people as I can to LIVE.

To come full circle, in my mind I’ve moved from dying a thousand deaths to knowing my story has saved a thousand lives.

I want to share a message of strength and determination with all who need it.

In my mind, I will not fail.

Neither will YOU!

Neither will WE, as a people.

Because that hope we’re holding onto is a force greater than anything on earth.

Until next time, here’s to freedom.




Inspirational Speaker | Best Selling Author | Empowerment, Confidence & Visibility Coach | Extreme Empowerment Specialist --- FOUNDER: #UnleashYourAwesome personal empowerment and business breakthrough seminars | #BrandMastery program. -- ACCOLADES AND PRESS: Co-host - America Out Loud | TEDx Speaker | DIVA PowerList | SourceTV Evolutionary | BBC Radio regular | Featured: HuffPost, Kindred Spirit, Sky TV and more.

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