September 28, 2021

September 28, 2021

Your Source for Free Speech,
Talk Radio, Podcasts, and News.

Now is the Time to be Selfish

by | Feb 7, 2021 |

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

But not in the way you think…

Being called selfish is not considered a compliment. It is a straight-up insult to most people. We have been trained to be good humans and care for others. Therefore, being selfish is equated to being a bad person.

Here’s the problem.

Good people caring for others eventually hit a limit. Even the best intentions cannot override physiology and mental-emotional capacity. Just like all of nature, there is ebb and flow, inhale and exhale. If all you did were exhale, you would lose oxygen and suffer. If all you did were spending money and not receive it, you would suffer.

Selfless, helpful intentions without the balance of receiving as much as giving can become toxic and backfire.

People-pleasing, caretaking, and leaving yourself last every day lead to an inevitable- and natural- backlash.

Self-Betrayal breeds Resentment

Self-betrayal is when we leave ourselves for others.
When we say yes when we mean no.
When we never even consider putting ourselves on our own list.
Ultimately, most people self-betray to avoid being seen as…you got it…SELFISH.

Scared, tired people become reactive, survival creatures.

When you are scared and tired, you know you are typically more impatient, forgetful, hot-tempered, accident-prone, judge-y, finger-pointing, and of course SELFISH- but in a bad way. There is a bad selfish, the type where you are only out for yourself – ahem… buying all the toilet paper in the store regardless of other people’s needs – where you harden and become bitter and self-serving.

This kind of selfishness separates you from others. This is the ‘us versus them’ selfish. When we are tired and reactive, we want to contract, retreat, fight, or just check out.

Scared and overextended people lead to unhappy, unloving humans. 

We can’t get around it. 

Have you ever heard of the term “Hangry?” – being so hungry you become angry? Yep, this is the same kind of thing. 

Our body senses the depletion and acts out in an attempt to get its needs met. We need to stop denying our needs and tend to our nature, or we will get hijacked by our survival mechanisms and unable to reel it in.

Here are some ways humans respond to being over-taxed and under-resourced:

  • Physically- We get anxious, achy, amped up or very lethargic, can’t relax, lacking quality sleep, cravings for food or no appetite at all, the tendency for addictive behavior, and just plain yucky.
  • Mentally- When we are stressed, we experience high beta brain waves (18–40 Hz): associated with significant stress, anxiety, paranoia, high energy, and high arousal.  This is when we are in a reactive state of mind. We are also susceptible to act out with excessive social-media scrolling, junk food, staying up too late, or any behavior we know is not good for us.
  • Emotionally- We experience life as impatient, intolerant, overwhelmed, “this is never going to end,” “why is this happening to me/us,” “It’s just too much.” We feel like a victim. We feel overburdened. We feel like we can’t keep up. We feel trapped.
  • Spiritually- We might feel completely alone and like the world is out to get us. Or engage in spiritually bypassing by checking out, believing God will do everything, so there’s no need to participate or be responsible.

Your nature is trying to tell you in many ways that something is off. The above symptoms are not things to slog through. They are signs to take a step back, reassess and do what you can to fill back up before going full tilt again.

Physiologically, to be kind, first, you must be Selfish.

When we are tuned up and taken care of, our entire bodies are chemically capable of kindness, caring, connecting behaviors.  Our feel-good hormones abound when we are selfish enough to stay tuned up. We can give from our overflow, or at the least share a sip of what’s already in our cup.

When we are not acting from exhaustion and burden, we will be good people naturally.

How to be Selfish to be Your Best Self

  • Decide on 3 things you need to ‘be more you’ each day. They only need to take 2-5 min if need be. If you’d like more about this, download your Self-Care Checklist.
  • Be mindful of your time, attention, and energy. Don’t just react through the day; set an intention for how you want to be and what 1-3 things you can focus on and move forward each day. This also releases the feel-good hormone dopamine, which releases when you get things done. YAY. Checkmark.
  • Take on a new motto of “gentle, slow, and kind.”  Everything will get done. It’s really all just stuff: Phew- sigh of relief.
  • Change your expectations of what life “should be.” Do what is in front of you.
  • Set reminders on your phone if you need a breathing break, a reminder, an affirmation, or anything that will fill you up.
  • Practice saying NO when you cannot take something else on.
  • Practice boundaries when people are expecting too much from you and are all up in your energy.
  • Practice Self-Acknowledgment. Go throughout the day or week and mentally celebrate your little or big wins.
  • Stop feeling guilty for having needs or taking up space. Use your voice. Let people help you. Love yourself enough to do what you can every day and let go of everything else.
  • Realize that your value is NOT in what you do for others. You are valuable because you exist; you being you is the value.

So, you see, choosing your needs IS being generous to others. Because now you are capable to give of yourself from your highest possible energy.

You have the time to be SELFISH in order to be Self-FULL.

I recorded a process to help you bring yourself back to a sense of stability. Find it here.

Jenna Smith

Jenna Smith is a “Human Being Expert.” She has trained in Spiritual Psychotherapy at the Transformational Arts College and Integrated Psychotherapy at Lifespace. She is a certified Ontological Coach, Reiki Master, as well as a health and fitness trainer. She has also studied Oneness, Shamanism, and Intuitive healing work with mentors from Peru, India, Africa, Ireland, and North America.

An in-demand international speaker, professional singer, retreat leader, workshop facilitator, author, and coach, Jenna is your one-stop-shop for results that last a lifetime.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Use the code ‘OUTLOUD’ and receive your 20% discount on your first order.

The Squalid Socialist State, Goal Achieved!

The Squalid Socialist State, Goal Achieved!

Today, it is accepted that Biden’s administration is not only inept but dangerous. While drowning in its own stupidity, Biden still insists on its success in his masterful Afghanistan withdrawal, the Covid-19 scam, and the open border over which floods of disease-infected third world illegals. This administration is dangerous to a Republic form of government; indeed, its aim is to destroy it and impose Marxism…

Democrats’ Human Rights Egregious Duplicity

Democrats’ Human Rights Egregious Duplicity

Biden and his clueless stooges keep falsely and shamelessly telling the world how much they care about Human Rights. The very Human Rights that Biden and the Democrats shamelessly and repeatedly remind a flabbergasted world, how Racist Americans are. If we paraphrase Churchill’s speech to describe the State of the Union under Biden’s watch, it would look like this: “Never in the field of diplomacy have so many been betrayed by so few.”

The Emotional Submission Of Football Fans

The Emotional Submission Of Football Fans

There is great controversy and social divide over the jab issue within families and friends. What sports owners and coaches don’t realize is the fact that the American population will only allow so many moves of the goalpost before they don’t participate in supporting the attendance when a front seat at home will suffice just fine…

Which Part of Your Genetic Makeup is Jekyll, and Which is Hyde?

Which Part of Your Genetic Makeup is Jekyll, and Which is Hyde?

Beal warns us the coronavirus vaccines could cause serious illness for which there is no cure, and they could cause weird mutations in the natural world which we cannot control – which perhaps we are already seeing as we move from delta, to mu to nu… and possibly soon needing to use the Klingon alphabet. There’s a lot that could go wrong, as a result of genetic changes brought about by the lab-made sequences in the vaccines…

The Great Coup of 2020 and the New American State

The Great Coup of 2020 and the New American State

Here we are, ten short years later, and the Occupy Wall Street movement has become the official platform of the Democratic Party. Their hatred of our country is no longer fringe – it is now mainstream, and it controls the White House, as well as both chambers of Congress. We are not a democracy. We are not a Democratic Republic either. We are a banana republic, with Joe Biden as our Banana in Chief…

COVID Q & A with Dr. Peter McCullough, #4

COVID Q & A with Dr. Peter McCullough, #4

I’m trying to save my husband’s life! Please, help me. What can be done to keep my husband from being put on a ventilator? – If I have T-cells in my body after recovering from COVID, is there any chance of me unknowingly being a carrier of COVID and giving it to my unvaccinated elderly parents? – I heard Dr. McCullough say that once you’ve had Covid19, you cannot get it again. Does that include all variants, ie, Delta?

Header

Your Source for Free Speech, Talk Radio, Podcasts, and News.

 

Here we take on the challenges of our generation so that we can preserve future generations.

iHeartRadio

The APPS are free; the mission is priceless!

Free APP

Podcast Networks

Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Spotify
Pandora
Tunein
iHeart
Stitcher

Subscribe and Listen on Your Favorite APP

Our Columnists and Show Hosts

COVID Solution Summit

Apple Podcasts

Evacuating Americans & fully-vetted Afghan's at Risk - Help Us!

Apple Podcasts

Empowering and mentoring conservative trailblazers from Generation Z to win!

Apple Podcasts

Turning Point Action is Recruiting Precinct Chairs - Become a Grassroots Warrior Today!

Apple Podcasts

URGENT - KEEP NINE
Please join us to protect the Supreme Court:
Sign the Petition!

Apple Podcasts

The LATINO USA EXIT from the Democrat Party, click for details...

Apple Podcasts

Fighting corporate censorship and ensuring voter integrity...

Apple Podcasts

Support wounded and fallen police officers. The Wounded Blue.

Wounded Blue
Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap