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The most exciting day of the year is almost here for political analysts and politically engaged Americans. Election Day! In just a few hours, ballot boxes will be entered, and candidates will be elected to new offices, or they will retain their seats. I’ve put together a special version of…
‘Twas the night before the Election, when all thro’ the States,
Not a politician was sleeping, not even Bill Gates;
Ballots were dropped off overnight by the parties with care,
In hopes that their candidate get votes from thin air;
the Pelosi’s were nestled all snug in their home,
While votes monitored by facebook were found on all phones,
Trumpers in red hats, and Dems in their skirts,
Had just settled on voting for candidates with no shirts,
When out in Pennsylvania there was incoherent chatter,
Doctors sprang from the OR’s to see what was the matter.
Fetterman was just fettering “hello and good night”
Doctor Oz now hates Oprah, and she started the fight.
Herschel Walker decided to call all of his babies,
Even the ones that were aborted in the Eighties,
When, what to Biden’s eyes should appear,
A war in the Ukraine, and war mongering fear,
But tomorrow he’d forget, so fast and so quick,
That gas prices and oil he sent up with a sniff.
On executive orders he was handed to sign,
As he whispered, and shouted, these vaccines are fine:
“Now! MAGA, now! PFIZER, now! Fauci and Fetter,
“On! Garland, on! Harris, on! Build Back and Better;
To the court house, to the end of our fights!
Now slash away! slash away! slash away all rights!”
As Kari Lake comes to terms with flipping her side,
Once a liberal she now takes Arizona by surprise
So she had people with firearms which she used to detest
protect from mules an issue fought in the wild west
And then there was Elon, heard on his tweets
There’s no election meddling not on his cyber streets.
And blue checks diminished and AOC melted down,
Over eight dollars to keep posting on whatever new issue she found:
While Lisa Blunt Rochester his from her people,
Lee Murphy stood by the highway looking so feeble;
DeSantis felt confident like he had won
While Crist’s last minute efforts were to hit a home run
And he looked like a mad man who lost in a war
Defeated and dejected and he wondered what for
Was the red wave rising, or would votes be contested
Would the dems keep trying, that Trump be arrested;
Or Hunter’s conviction and laptop media lied through their teeth
And the crack smoke he inhaled encircled his head like a wreath.
He had contracts in Ukraine and more with China
While one side argues what’s life in a vagina.
The country is distracted and divided and bitter
Over what is a female and what’s a switch hitter.
That with one single issue they hope you forget
All that they’ve done that you don’t see the threat
The parties won’t say a word, they hope their plan works
Keep watching the side show on TikTok they twerk
While laying a finger on the candidate you choose
Make sure it’s a wise one or the Constitution we lose.
So spring from your bed, and vote informed with your finger
Get rid of the fascist and communist, don’t let them linger.
As you leave the ballot box, I hope you don’t lose sight
Happy Election day to all, and to all Hello and good night.
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