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What is Confidence? And How Can You Get It?
I used to be insanely convincing to the outside world that I had it all together, was confident, and all that ‘being ON for the world’ stuff. But I was exhausted trying to keep up the charade of ‘confident Jenna’ because I didn’t feel like me being me was enough. I had to be ON, I had to be alert to what everyone else was thinking, and over think what to say and how to be so I would be liked. Yuck. This sucked. But, I didn’t know any other way at the time.
It has been a curious thing to me, that other people have been inspired by my confidence most of my life, when I was debilitatingly insecure in my teens and 20’s. Sometimes, people do have this “woo” or charisma in their nature, and I do have that, I know this now. However, I did not always own this or trust I was enough.
Which brings me to this article, and the way I am BEING now.
Through my journey of transformation, awakening, and empowerment, I finally was able to chill the F out and learn to be ME in the world. This confidence I eventually discovered, this natural way of being in the world, is worth talking about and sharing so other’s can know it’s possible for them too.
So, here’s the deal, I believe confidence is the feeling of knowing you are inherently good, worthy, and matter on the planet. This is NOT arrogance, this is NOT entitlement. I do believe in healthy entitlement though, which means claiming what is yours and not being apologetic about your existence. You are a magnificent bag of cells animated by a unique soul in this human magnificent body and mind! You are naturally sourced by source itself, so no need to be overly humble all the time, it’s a fine-line to be disempowered and insecure rather than healthily humble, which means knowing we ALL are magnificent and are ALL sourced from source, so you’re not the only one and there’s nothing to fight over or convince the world of. You are worthy, because you exist.
The low-down on confidence:
- You cannot buy it. The stuff you think all the models wear and use…spoiler alert, they are getting paid to convince you it is cool, and therefore you will be cool too if you buy the thing. Other spoiler, I have met many celebrities, pro athletes, and models and MANY are deeply insecure, if not moreso because they are being paid to be pretty, successful, or cool in society’s eyes, and they need to keep it up or they’ll be old news, and completely irrelevant if they didn’t maintain their fame. So, don’t look up to people just because they have fame or what not, we are ALL human. No one is immune from these universal feelings of seeking to belong, be seen for who they are, and celebrated for their unique being as it is.
- You cannot manufacture it. I call this ‘being our representative’ – the person we think the world wants to see to be liked, accepted and celebrated. I have been there done that! Pretty, fit, intelligent, problem-solver, happy, kind, helper, healer, strong one….all these things I thought I needed to be. Which left NO room for the multi-dimensional being I actually was, with all the feelings and all the moods and levels of ‘productivity’ that vary from day to day, or even hour to hour. Humans connected to their being are naturally connected to nature which has ebb and flow and rhythm. When we don’t allow all the things, we resist who we really are, and feel more separate than ever. Just Being is enough, it IS confidence embodied.
- You BEING you, is the thing to Do. Johnny Depp, Meryl Streep, Anthony Hopkins….these folks emanate a type of ‘f*ck it’ confidence that is super-duper celebrated (hence the term celebrity). You know their secret? They do not need the world to accept them. Their own self-acceptance fills them up so much that it overflows onto others. They do not waste their existence wondering what people think about them. They do their art, they focus on their experience and the best them they can be, compared to their own greatness and not the comparisons of the world.
Okie dokes, what have you learned here:
- Be YOU.
- You are enough.
- There is nothing to do or not do to be loved and accepted.
Dr. Suess says it best:
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